I think we’re getting closer to an answer here. You always hear about all the health benefits of coffee. Drink coffee and live longer. Drink coffee and stay sane. Coffee wards off Alzheimer’s. I can’t ignore these studies. They’re out there. We’ve written before about how it forces us to be present by increasing the stress of the current moment.
So let’s flip the script. Caffeine is a stimulant, but our choice to use it is a symptom. Of what? Lower brain entropy. So essentially, you being able to stomach four cups of coffee says much more about your ability to endure stress than you think.
If we assume that we all have different energy states, the lowest energy states can operate with more stimulation, or stress. So your ability to consume caffeine is more a symptom of your brain state than anything else.
So if we assume that the brain is system that strives for equilibrium. The further you are from your brain’s highest energy state, the more stress you can endure [without complications]. And the more room you have for entropy in your brain, the more coffee you can drink.
Let’s be honest with ourselves here. We’re really on to something. For those on the outside looking in, here’s what you need to do to catch up.
Starve Yourself. Just eat less. Or don’t eat at all. Who care’s if you were born to be 250 pounds? Humans have survived worse. Just as long as you can stand on the scale and feel good about yourself.
Drink Coffee. This is super helpful when you’re trying to starve yourself. It really kills the appetite and gives you that burst of energy that you used to have all the time when you were whole.
Get glasses. In the stress of starving yourself, you’re going to start to feel different. Your vision may start to blur. Glasses can help alleviate this annoyance and get you back to what’s important: getting as thin as humanly possible.
Workout when you don’t feel like it. Earn your gold stars. Outwork your friends. That’s what it’s all about. Looking good naked. Win the race to the grave.
Ignore your body. Don’t worry about how sore you are, or how much your stomach is growling after that big salad you just ate. Just keep plugging away. Maybe your headache will go away. You can always just go get coffee in a couple hours.
Get depressed. As you starve yourself with the aid of glasses and exercise, this should be easy. Just go with it. You’ll hate every minute of every day.
Take Meds. Since you can’t figure out what went wrong, and you can’t go five minutes without flipping someone off, go talk to someone. Get them to give you pills. That’s what you need: one more variable to sort out.
That should be enough to get you started. If you don’t start seeing results in 30 days, you’re doing something wrong.