I die therefore I live

The fear that has completely disabled me over the past couple weeks is not of death, but of dying. Getting a terminal diagnosis from a doctor, and sitting on a hospital bed and feeling sorry for myself for the rest of my life.
But wait, we are all terminal. We are all born with an expiration date.
So any doctor would only confirm what I already knew about myself: that I am dying. So is he. 
The best and most powerful realization of this is that my uncertainty is still in tact. Just because I may have a terminal illness, doesn’t mean that is going to be what kills me. Someone could murder me on my deathbed, or infinite other possible deaths. So I am still just as uncertain about my death as I was before. 

I’ve been sitting on this thought for several weeks now. And tonight it hit me: 
Life does not mean death. Death is just a part of life. But death means life. To not be is to say that I once was.
‘I think therefore I am.’ I die therefore I live. 
If you never slept, would you know what consciousness was? Sleep is how we know we are awake. Death is how we know we lived. 

Removing End Points

If you believe that you’ll live another hundred years, that’s one thing. But what if you believe you’ll live forever?

Death is only a checkpoint.

There is no more urgency of self. I am safe no matter what happens to me. The urgency is for everyone else. Because every day, people die not thinking about forever.

Today my last day is a scary thought. But what if I have infinite days just like today left. My life becomes less about me and more about everyone else. I like to think that I’ll be a professional golfer in heaven. But while I’m here, I’ve got to do things that matter.

If I remove death from my equation, life becomes less scary, less about me. Death is just a stepping stone between this life and the next. So I can’t be distracted by the things of this world as I prepare for the next one.

When you remove the end point of your life, you can begin to smooth the curves. To accept the ebbs and flows that are this world. But not only accept the ebbs, embrace them. Because if the choices are to suffer now or later, I choose to suffer now. Because my life is much, much shorter than eternity.