Your wife isn’t always right

She can’t be.

So to believe this, is to believe that your wife is perfect. But that is impossible. There was only one perfect person, and he died two thousand years ago. And if she isn’t perfect, she isn’t always right. So to believe that she is always right, is wrong.

If there is an objective moral standard, and there is, she is not it. 

People change over time, but the objective moral standard does not. So either she isn’t changing, or she is changing and isn’t the objective moral standard. And if she is not the objective moral standard, she is not always right.

But also, if she isn’t the moral standard and isn’t changing, she isn’t getting any closer to the actual moral standard.

So to believe that your wife is always right, is to set your standard lower than God’s, and to make is something grounded in someone who is changing, just like you.

So if your wife isn’t perfect, she could be wrong. And if she could be wrong, she isn’t necessarily always right. And if she isn’t necessarily always right, she is not an objective moral standard.

So to accept her as being always right is to do her, yourself, and God a disservice. Without challenging her where you disagree, she may actually believe that she is always right. And if you don’t hold your ground, you have accepted it. And to accept something that is wrong as a moral standard for your household is…well, wrong.

Happy wife, happy life. To say she is always right is to mitigate conflict. And I agree that it would do just that. But is it right to mitigate conflict where there is one? To accept someone else’s morals even if they have no objective grounding? To accept something that could be wrong to mitigate conflict is wrong.

If you accept her arbitrary moral standards and ignore your own, you both only get closer to her standards, which may be wrong. So unless you grow closer to a single standard, you either get further away from yourself, or further away from God. Who is the true moral standard.

Time changes us all. We can all get either closer or further away from the truth. And if you are morally anchored to someone who is not grounded in objective moral truth, you still will change. And without the proper anchor, it’s hard to see how you could grow closer to the truth.

Defining Love

Preliminary Reading (optional): Time is like a tree, Reality, Truth, and Faith, Expecting Unhappiness, I am an Addict

Love is when you can’t imagine a future reality without someone or something. When all your future realities involve this someone, you love them.

 …for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part… 

This involves a range of potential future scenarios. But it’s a really wide range. Essentially, no matter the situation, we are together.

By default, you love yourself, because all of your future realities include you. If you don’t love yourself, you need to learn to, because there is literally no escaping it. Love is different than expectations, because love is something that you can take with you everywhere. So while you may be addicted to it, the fact that it is optional makes it a choice. And a habit rather than a chore.

And God is love. If God is love, God is literally not imagining a future reality without us. The fact that God is love is literally a promise to be with us. And Immanuel, is fulfillment of that promise.

Hate is the opposite of love. The ability to imagine a reality without someone or something. And loving that reality. So if God is love, the absence of God is hate.